THE INCREDIBLE TWO DAY ONE DAY HOME SALE

is over.....

I hurt my right wrist, cut my arm, and threw my back out....all in a day's work.

I customer walked by me at 8:00 and said I looked terrible and should go home!!

Am I too old for this?? (Don't answer that!) No energy to write more...can't think!

RUBIK'S CUBE

I do not know if anyone other than me will find this odd but...

As I do Sudoku non-stop years ago I had a Rubik's Cube obsession. Did I ever solve the damn thing. NO! However, I carried one around in the car, next to the bathtub. Solving these puzzles (or not solving them in this case) never actually bothers me. I can diddle around with them forever--screaming internally at my gross stupidity!!

Now with the aid of the computer....I can watch some little pissant show me how to solve the puzzle on youtube. Come on...watch the video below and tell me if he is more than 11 years old. Pissant is probably too strong of a word...but damn it, he did solve the puzzle.


How To Solve A Rubiks Cube Pt. 1 - For more amazing video clips, click here



Not only can you learn to solve the Rubiks Cube on line....you do not even need a Rubiks Cube...you can actually play it on line!! No more callouses or blisters from turning the little game in my sweaty hands...go to this link and start your engines!!

PLUMBING THE DEPTHS

...of depression.  Probably.

Yesterday Henry and I went a bought new faucets for the bathub and both sinks in the Master Bathroom.  Excitement abounds. 

I made a list for the plumber, and was thrilled.  I would come home and not have to put a towel around the faucet I had last repaired two months ago.

Then there was the call.

Henry decides to be frugal fanny...not me....I get to be patty plumber.

Yup, on Sunday (my day off) I will be repairing all of the faucets.  The plumber said he thought "we" could do it!

You know what that means.

Now, I hope I did not donate my overalls to Second Chance!

JUMP

I used to have a crush on David Lee Roth, around the time of Van Halen's Diver Down album (am I dating myself?).



But from watching the video above--it is a little embarrassing. What did I like about him? The hair? The pout? The splits?

I sat down tonight to write a blog about the first day of the diet that I started on January 1st that really began today. Oh, let me add here the obligatory "It's not a diet it's a way of life."

My blog opened and I saw the bed.
The bed made me think of getting ready for work this morning.
When I went to pull on my tights I tried to sit on the bed and could not reach.
I had to Jump to get on the bed.
Voila! David Lee Roth and Van Halen!
When did he go from the video to this??
Is this aging gracefully?
Yikes!

On to the bed. The bed is very comfortable, I did wake up several times through the night because I thought I was going to crash to my death from the top of the bed.

Speaking of the top of the bed. This is a place that poor MacKenzie will never see again. She would have to move very far back, run up the little stairs that Betsy bought for her, and then throw herself towards the top of the bed from the top of the stairs. In other words...not a chance!


She is cute though isn't she?

WRESTLING

It is all about wrestling today. We wrestled our old bed out and the Bloomingdale's (Macy's) delivery people wrestled in the new bed. It looks wonderful. There really was a hole on Henry's side that he sunk into ... oopsie.

The delivery people actually were 10 minutes early...and that I was the first delivery. I should have purchased a lottery ticket--I mean really, when was the last time that happened.

I then went to see the movie "Wrestler". Mickey Rourke was great in this movie that made you incredibly happy not to be Mickey Rourke. I have never felt so incredibly sad for anyone's life as I did his in this movie.




I used a free movie ticket and Melinda bought the popcorn because I drove. Awesome use of funds.

THE HEART OF DARKNESS

Last night I went to a movie--"Last Chance Harvey". A nice movie. Great actors, Pathetic lives. Romance. As I am leaving the theater, I hear the people in front of me saying it was the worst movie they had ever seen. I wondered--Gosh, I wonder what movie they had seen--then I realized we were still in the theater and had seen the same movie. YIKES!

I get home and Henry wants to watch "Traffic". Great movie when I first saw it in 2000. Five hours into the two and a half hour movie...just when it was getting good...

Every light in the house went out.
Every light on our street went out.
Our street lamps went out.
Our neighborhood was dark.

After realizing these things I was happy I had refrained from asking Henry if he had paid the bill.

Then, I remembered something about them shutting down the electricity to do some changes to the transformers or something. But at 10:38 Saturday night?

We stumbled to the bedroom in darkness, where Henry tried to go online to see what was going on....it's cute how we actually do not think that the internet does run on electricity at some point.

Power this morning at 7AM.

That is my "dog ate the homework" excuse for not posting yesterday.

HAPPY TO BE...

...employed. In times as tough as these economically, we all need to be thankful that we have jobs, whatever they may be.

That being said I am going to share with you these words from Garrison Keillor on the Obama Election:

Be happy, dear hearts, and allow yourselves a few more weeks of quiet exultation. It isn't gloating, it's satisfaction at a job well cone. He was a superb candidate, serious, professorial but with a flashing grin and a buoyancy that comes from working out in the gym every morning. He spoke in a genuine voice, not senatorial at all. He relished campaigning. He accepted adulation gracefully. He brandished his sword against his opponents without mockig or belittling them. He was elegnt, unaffected, utterly American, and now (Wow) suddenly America is cool. Chicago is cool. Chicago!!

We threw the dice and we won the jackpot and elected a black guy with a Harvard degree, the middle name Hussein and a sense of humor. He said, "I've got relatives who look like Bernie Mac, and I've got relatives who look like Margaret Thatcher." The French junior minister for human rights said, "On this morning, we all want to be American so we can take a bite of this dream unfolding before our eyes." When was the last time you heard someone from France say they wanted to be American and take a bite of something of ours? Ponder that for a moment.

The world expects us to elect pompous yahoos, and instead we have us a 47-year-old prince from the prairie who cheerfully ran the race, and when his opponents threw sand at him, he just smiled back. He'll be the first president in history to look really good making a jump shot. He loves his classy wife and his sweet little daughters. At the same time, he knows pop music, American lit and constitutional law. I just can't imagine anybody cooler.

It feels good to be cool, and all of us can share in that, even sour old right-wingers and embittered blottoheads. Next time you fly to Heathrow and hand your passport to the man with the badge, he's going to see "United States of America" ad look up ad grin. Even if you worship in the church of Fox, everyone you meet overseas is going to ask you about Obama, and you may as well say you voted for him because, my friends, he is your line of credit over there. No need anymore to try to look Canadian.

To think I was excited that he was literate....never considered the jumpshot angle.

INAUGURATION RESOLUTION REDUX

Just like we are used to, I have already reneged on my Inauguration Resolution, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday...and being embarrassed about it, I did not blog. Today I was ill, probably from embarrassment.

I spent the day at home watching Tabatha's Salon Takeover. It came on and I began watching and it was like a box of chocolates, I couln't stop. She made over some of the most hideous salon's I have ever seen.




I know that people think that noone actually notices some of these things but as a customer, I was somewhere the other day and the intake vent had so much dust in it I was thoroughly disgusted. I kept thinking that it was going to poof out onto my food.

At any rate, as I was watching show after show after show--all day, remember--I had to admire Tabatha's directness in dealing with problems head on. Realistically, she does leave these places, however, I am sure that she is as demanding on her staff as she is on others.

I loved the episode where she made everyone spit their gum out in her hand...in her hand. One guy said, that is disgusting. She said not as disgusting as the fact that you are chewing it!! She rocks!

I'll be back at work tomorrow and everyone had better watch out!! How do you think my hair will look that color? Hmmm.

INAUGURATION RESOLUTION

As I sit here sipping my cup of new favorite Teavana: 1 tsp Samurai Chai Mate and 1 tsp White Avurvedic Chai and 1 tsp Maple Rock Sugar.....mmmm, fyi, it smells as good as it sounds, I reflect upon what is ahead of the country and me.

In reality, I think that I have the easiest row to hoe. Tomorrow I need to exercise, or at the very least go and reinstitute my gym membership that we have been paying for for two years. The last time I was in I opened the membership at my local LA Fitness!

However, I might be more comfortable at "The House." This is a new workout place that seems to cater to old farts like me. It has shopping, old worn chairs...appealing stuff for old folks!


While I was in Las Vegas for the weekend with Cliff he was describing the virtues of Yoga. We stopped in at a lululemon athletica store but Cliff convinced me that all I needed to exercise was to get my butt out of my chair and from behind my computer. But wouldn't a new lululemon outfit in "Mac n'Cheese" with a bottom of "Cocktail". Maybe, if I go to the gym, lose a few pounds, I could reward myself with a new outfit!! BTW when you click on the link above you get to the omBama page...it is worth the trip!

So that is my resolution for tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

Happy Birthday pumpkin!

LAS VEGAS

Las Vegas was a great start to 2009.

In true frugal fashion, I did not spend the $15 per night on an internet collection. So you will have to forgive me, or applaud me, but I was not able to post!

It will probably take me weeks to get the smoke out of my lungs from this weekend. I did not gamble (or gambol, for that matter), and the only thing I had smoked was fish.

The very best things in Las Vegas were family...
being able to see the incredible Chihuly floral ceiling installation...

people watching, as Betsy said "I don't even know where you would go to buy these clothes."

and, of course, the food...
oh, well, there was food there once....and the drinking...
and the resulting multiple (multiple multiple) resulting high fiving resulting from the single martini...

Did I mention my total expenditures for this trip were zero.

INTERVENTION

OK. I know I told all of you that it would take a very strong person to wrestle that absolutely gorgeous watch off of my wrist.

I will admit I called Henry and begged and cajoled, but he held firm.

I was sick of emails from Katie that just said "Return the watch."

This is the latest from my friend Andrea: "If you truly have the desire to be frugal you will return the watch. I saw the picture and what were you thinking? It is trend not fashion and trend is never for the frugal. Snap out of it and return the damn watch already!" Queen of Manolo's, St. John, and all things Neimans. For God's sake Andrea, the watch was black...how trendy could it be.

I cannot begin to go into what Linell said.

Stephen intervened, grabbed me by the bag and dragged me to one. (Perfect that he grabbed my camera as well, huh?)

Mike seemed delighted to return the watch.

The upside to all o this is DO YOU SEE HOW FAT I LOOK!! Workout and diet Monday!!! Either that or I can ret myself out as a dustcover for furniture in a summer house.

IT'S NOT JUST ME

This evening I worked the night shift. I have spent days debating taking back a shirt purchased for $12, people were coming in this evening returning things that they had been given as Christmas gifts that had been purchased YEARS ago, smelling of mothballs, with UPCs that have been out of the system for years.

I know it is not their fault. How do you tell them that their "friend/relative" thought enough of them to give them a lovely orange Polo shirt that is still in its package and never worn. Do you think that they thought it was suspicious that it smelled as thought it had been in storage for 5 years.

It is a whole new scary method of re-gifting.

In my own defense, I returned about $150 tonight...but not the watch!! ;^)

TOO POOPED TO POP....

OK I know that I am gullible. My mother sang this all the time and I kind of thought she made it up but no.....here it is...

This is exactly how I feel.

Please listen it is quick....too pooped to pop

TOO TIRED TO SPEND...

...or write for that matter!

INVENTORY RECAP

OK!
Today was inventory day one.
Today was also the Charger/Pittsburgh playoff game.

Let me list the similarities.

1. Both events are highly anticipated
2. Both events come with a rush of adrenaline
3. Both events either go really well or really poorly
4. Both events are over very quickly
5. Both events have tons of people all over the playing field
6. Money is counted at the end of both events
   

Only I will get to play another day since I have a second inventory on Tuesday.
The Chargers will have to wait until next year.

BIG (MAC) DEAL

I know that it goes against the grain of my resolutions to be addressing the conundrum of how many Big Mac's should one buy. But that was the dilemma today. The logic astounds me but here we go.

It is inventory time, so I spent the morning laying sheets (retail speak) and decided to reward myself with a trip to the Golden Arches. I counted the walk down the mall at a leisurely pace as my exercise of the day. This is proof that anything can be rationalized.


After standing in line, I had decided to get a Big Mac. I'll have a Big Mac I say. Big Mac is $3.29, or 2 for $3.50, my waitperson says. What?? for $.21 I can get another Big Mac. I turned to Theresa my lunch buddy and asked if she wanted a Big Mac...nope...Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese was he weapon of choice. I called Buddy and asked if he wanted to be my "Big Mac Buddy" and he agreed. But wait, there's more.

OK....two Big Mac's and a Diet Coke. Not working!! No Diet Cokes....just regular Cokes. Regular Coke. OMG WWPMD (what would Paul McKenna do)? Seriously, I just stood there and could not figure out what to do?? The fact that I had just ordered a 540 calorie sandwich with 29 grams of fat did not bother me at all....but no diet.

So (close your ears Paul McKenna), I had a Big Mac, a real Coke, and a couple of Tums and was good to go. Maybe there is no hope for Paul McKenna---the I can make you thin man!

LUNCH IN A BAG (er Tub)

Well, not a bag exactly. Betsy went through a Tupperware phase (that cost me $300) to be supportive. Moving on...so I use my lovely Tupperware Vent n Serve container to take my sandwich (it is the right shape). What I discovered today is that I can eat half of my sandwich when I become starving at 11:00 am. I do not have to run to the vending machine for one of my wonderful choices (which are bad).

While finding the pictures unfortunately there was also the nutritional (I use the term loosely for these items....I will share the highlights.

11 grams of fat 270 calories

11 grams of fat and only 170 calories

8 grams of fat only 140 calories

That's right it's bathtime!!!

TOP SHELF ON THE RIGHT

It is incredibly interesting weighing every little purchase, or non-purchase in my case. People really do this on a daily basis.

I was very excited because I went to TJMaxx and found next year's Holiday cards marked down.....and then half off of that amount. So I bought next years cards for $1 each box. That is right $1 for Graphique de France wonderful cards. The title is so that hopefully next year someone will remind me where I put them.

Unfortunately, while there I also found "The Thymes" Eucalyptus shampoo for only $4.99. Now I am debating that purchase.

Maybe I should keep the shampoo and return the watch!! I am moving forward.....ever so slowly!!

NEW HOBBY

Anyone who knows me knows that the last thing that I need is something more to occupy my time. My friend, Linell, sent me an admonishment to return the watch and put my eBay funds into a retirement account.


She followed that by sneding me this video, suggesting this as our new hobby.

1. I got sick just watching them jump off the Cliff
2. Then they turned somersaults which immediately took me to my gymnastics failures in school
3. They were going 100 mph in a suit
4. How much fabric do you think we would need to keep this body afloat--or would I drop like a stone
5. I would not need a retirement account because I would have had heart failure about half-way down
6. The Norway part seems fun!

I tried to embed but could not do it!! So please click on the word video above....it is worth watching!! Found another one so there are two....

CLOSETS LOOKIN' PRETTY BLEAK (I mean black)

I went into my closet this morning and saw something that jogged my memory that I thought I would share.

Years ago there was a "tip" that at the beginning of the year you turned all of your hangers around backwards in your closet. As you used things throughout the year (or six months if you are so inclined) you put the hangers back in the correct way. That way at the end of your time frame it was easy to see which clothes had not been worn during the year. No hesitation!

Goes without saying that I have closets I have not gone into in a year. But I am purging.

Spent a day putting tons of goodies on eBay. Maybe I will earn enough to pay for the beautiful watch!!

CAN HE MAKE ME THIN??

OK! I had a day off and I bought a book. Paul McKenna's "I CAN MAKE YOU THIN." I know I said I wasn't buying any more diet books....but, of course, it isn't a diet book...it is a "way of life"...it isn't a way of life...I'll read it quick and maybe return it (instead of the watch).



He actually hypnotizes you with a CD in the back of the book. Thank God I read the disclaimer because I was definitely going to listen to it in the car and you are not supposed to operate heavy equipment while being hypnotized.

Perfect...no pain no gain!!

HOW MANY BROWNS????

There is soft brown, beige, chocolate...oh and Bobbi...
It is hard to resist the incredible allure of the Bobbi Brown, well browns.
And a bunch of them in one case....irresistible.

...and then you get home and realize that you only use brown. You might have a few browns that you use...every single day!! Yup!! There they were.

Back it went...am I making you proud yet?

Let's take a second pass at the watch...thought a comparison would be in order. See they are totally different. Remember half off, no Christmas present, and I went to a playoff game...it all adds up!!
I love how it feels, looks, and how much it weighs....mmmmm, I might NEED it!

Todays net..$2.50 on coffee and a diet. -$40 on my bill!
whoooooooo

SPLURGE VERSUS PURGE

Confession time. I fell in love with a watch. We had a big sale. I bought the watch. This was weeks ago--many. So, should I keep it as part of the end of the year of the splurge...or should I return it as part of the year of purge.

But I love it!!
It is beautiful!!
It takes my breath away!!
It lives on a chair in my room!!
It was half price!!

Did I mention Henry did not get me a single Christmas present?? (Sympathy bid here)

Recap:
Weight Loss: Zero
Money: Loaned Hen $9.50
Project completion: Cowl knitted in Red Rocks Fiber Works
Project Beginning: Jacoby gloves in Koigu

ZERO SPEND DAY

Yup! I did it! I spent zip, zero, nada today. I did do some negotiating to accomplish that but a win is a win!

Henry asked me to a taco lunch--which he paid for! Big time points.

I asked him if he wanted to see Frost/Nixon....



I had a free movie ticket--zero dollars. I had two free movie tickets but I would not share one because I will have to be frugal another day.

He wanted popcorn--which he paid for (and I ate).

I will admit I did offer to pay for a Icee if he would go and get it...but he wouldn't. Again Zero dollars.

Came home and made Cream cheese olive sandwiches and read all about dieting with my new People magazine!!

I have to take it a day at a time. So eating a little off....being frugal was great.

Net net of the day....zero pounds lost, zero money spent!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

My first post on my new venture.

My first New Year's Day without starting a diet.

When Clifford was born 20 years ago on Inauguration Day. I weighed 142 pounds when I got to the hospital to deliver. One week later I weight 123 pounds. 142 pounds is now my goal weight, and 123 pounds would be considered a pipe dream. So, as much as I would like to blame pregnancy (20 years later) or a "thyroid" problem....not his fault!!!

How did it happen? Obviously 2.5 pounds a year for 20 years. I blame Chico's elastic clothing--maybe I could sue them. If people can sue McDonald's
for "making" people gain weight. I could sue Chico's for allowing me to expand my girth (and expand I have). You did always look good while wearing Travelers (or at least I told that to enough people to begin to believe it). It was black, it stretched, it washed...and you wore it! I am still wearing it, although I have divested myself of all but shirts--ok, I saved one pair of crop pants, I admit it.

Now there is no way around it--I am FAT!! I was given a wonderful gift of Ariel the swimming mermaid doll (did I mention that I love Mermaids?). This lovely gift was from my friend Linell. When I spoke with her today, she asked if it really swam. Yes she got it for me to play with in the bathtub. I had to explain to her that when I get in the bath tub there is only room left for approximately 4 cups of water--clearly not the depth needed for Ariel to swim.

In the past years, I have done Weight Watchers, Atkins, The Zone (I did not just buy the book here--I actually went to Dr. Barry Sears), NutriSystem, Jenny Craig, Marilu, Suzanne Somers, Rosie Daley, Dr. Oz, Harvey Pasternak's 5 Factor Diet, The Biggest Loser, Dr. Clifford Oliver, Ed the Trainer, Jorge Cruse The 12 Second Diet, and Essential Eating--I am sure that I have missed some diet or another. But there is only one bottom line...I have gained 50 pounds...while dieting. So the heck with it...then... P.S. If anyone needs any of these books, let me know!!

I saw the cover of a People/Us magazine. Someone lost 22 pounds without surgery--Amazing!!! Incredible!!! How did she do it?? Let's see--she ate less and exercised more. That's where I have gone wrong. Imagine...no surgery to lose 22 pounds. I am so inspired!!

So...I am not dieting!!! I am going to try to eat less and exercise more (let's face it--anything would be more than I am currently doing).

Here is to a year of no excess, divesting myself of poundage:
personal as well as possessions.
Here is to swimming with the Mermaids in 2010!!
This is the beginning!